So far behind I am and running over idle ground

Good day friends!

I have a lot to talk about today that you may or may not be interested in. So, if you're not into it I have some picture to tide you over. (And no worries, yo. It's cool.)

Orly Satin Hues Satin Eloquence
Two coats, no base or top in sun

This is the other HTF Orly I got from ebay. It is incredibly sheer so you really would need four coats to make this worth it. That said, I really like it. And it's pink! I do not love pinks but this makes me happy. This is an old formula with formaldehyde and the like so it does not smell pleasant. However, it did apply beautifully and dries quickly. I love the satin finish because I love mattes and it would be too sweet and twee were it shiny.
I have tried it as a layering polish but my results have been very much bad. And that's all there is to say about that! ;)

Now on to the things that have been troubling me. And, yes, troubling. 
I got back to work to endure one of the most challenging weeks since I started. We had to prepare for an annual inspection by the director of retail sales and that entailed cleaning every square inch, making sure everything is in its place and everyone is doing their jobs precisely.  I had to do all of this with a co-worker on vacation and two cashiers on vacation. It was so fucking aggravating because I also had to contend with employees calling out sick. I was angry, stressed and out of my fucking mind. 
We got high marks on our inspection but it wore me right the fuck out. I spent my entire "weekend" trying to recover and I didn't quite do it. I had another week being short staffed and busting my ass.
In spite of all that, I still love my job. It was just very hard for two weeks.

What else is on my mind? Glad you asked.
I am in a complete rut. I come home from work and do the same exact thing every night. I do the same things on my days off. I am so bored and uninspired. It's got me upset and desperate. I'm so unhappy that I've been pulling away from all my friends and just blowing things off. I just hang out in the house with the cats. Just thinking of going out fills me with dread and this is no bueno.¡Qué lástima!
I need to find something to give me some spark. I'm not about to quit nail polish nor am I going to give up this blog but I have thought about it. In the middle of a tantrum but, yeah.
There are some things I do want to do but I just don't think I will get to. I have a spare bedroom that I essentially use as a wardrobe. I have a cool little vanity in there, an awesome vintage dresser and a sweet little couch. I've always wanted to make it a hang out for myself but it just hasn't happened. It needs a lot of work to get it where I want it and I need help. Bob knows, I adore my husband but he's not going to help me get rid of the cheap ass armoires taking up most of the fucking space in there.
Aside from the work the room needs, I'm worried that I will not be able to use the room. Why? Because of my beloved husband. 
This is something I've been dealing with in the 10+ years I've shared with Matt. He hates to be alone. If I'm in a different room, he'll keep popping in to ask me what I'm doing, will I come watch TV with him, how long am I going to be in there, and so on. Mind you, he does not like my nail supplies in the living room. He doesn't like seeing anything left out. (It's always my stuff too...)
So I feel like I'm in a no-win situation. I do have to mention that he is better about it than he used to be but I am not confident that he would be cool with me hanging out in another room for awhile in the evening.

I don't know what the fuck to do and I'm just pissed about the whole thing. All I can do right now is force myself to get out of this funk and quit being a bad friend. Meh. I just need my Sugar Mama. She always makes things better.

Thanks for taking the time to read this if you have. I'm sorry it's so whiny. I hope to be back to normal soon.


  1. Oh, dear. Ten years is a long time not to get any peace. No wonder you are fraught.
    My partner (who has almost trained me to behave properly after seven years) would say: Hold him close, look him in the eye and tell him you love him very much. But you need chill-time with everything going on at work and to be a good wife so can he PLEASE not get upset if you have an hour a night just messing with whatever you want on your own. It doesn't mean you don't love him and you'll have more energy if you can just have unwinding space.
    Best wishes.

  2. You know what, Tony is like this too. He's VERY needy emotionally. I mean, very. And I tend to be more cut off from my emotions so his constant need for attention sometimes wracks my nerves. I feel you. I swear to you that he actually thinks there's something wrong with our relationship if we don't talk all the time. It's frustrating and I have dealt with it for about as long as you have and at times go through the same fits of frustration. I also withdraw a lot.
    I'm an email away, should you feel inclined. Meanwhile, *HUGE ASS HUGS*

  3. {HUGS} Sorry to hear you're feeling over-worked and uninspired. I live in an apartment with my boyfriend and it's basically a living room, a bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen. It's very hard to have any alone time. Chuck is happy to spend every minute of the day with me, so he doesn't really understand my need to be by myself sometimes.

  4. I'm sorry hun, hugs. Hope the 2 weeks would go by quickly, so you can relax a bit. Personally, I have to have some alone time to do whatever I want, otherwise, I'll stress out. But like Nicole said, it's not that easy to work it out with the other half. Hope you and Matt could work things out.

  5. *HUGGGGG* I hope you feel better soon!! =]

  6. Thank you all for your kindness. It means a great deal to me.

    Jaljen - Your partner is very wise and sounds very sweet. You're very lucky! I will definitely take this advice into consideration.

    Nikki - I love you, I truly do. You are so awesome. Next time I visit family in Georgia, I will come see you and give you giant hugs.

    Deb - Thank you. It's good to know you, me and Nikki can all relate. I don't feel so alone!

    Halifax - You are so sweet and always so encouraging. Thank you very much!

    Anstah - Virtual hugs are always appreciated. Thank you!

  7. Just wanna say I love you too.

  8. I think, when a man is truly in love with a woman, this is how they are. It's crazy making, but reassuring at the same time.
    I feel your pain though. I live in a small space and the only room with a door to shut away from him is the bathroom. We are SOOO going to get a bigger space with a couple of rooms with doors in the future. One of them will LOCK. lol
    I'm not even an introvert. I love being around people! But some days you just need your alone time. Small spaces don't allow for that unless someone is willing to leave. lol
    I had no idea how much I liked my alone time until I didn't have it anymore. It's really important to have that time.
    My brother-in-law got this from a counselor and I love it: Imagine the two people in a relationship are farmers each with their own 5 acres. They come together and begin another 5 acre farm to which they bring some of their crops to every year. If they don't take time to care for their own 5 acres, they have nothing to bring to the shared farm. :)
    Maybe tell the man that...and send him off to do something self-caring. I do! It's hard for him to leave, but once he's gone, we BOTH enjoy the time away and appreciate being together again afterwards. Yep, once a month, I send that bad boy off on his motorcycle with clear instructions to stay gone til the next evening. I love that weekend as much as I love him.
    Hope you find your space and some peace. It is possible.

  9. Elizabeth - Thank you so much. The farm analogy is a good one. I've been encouraging Matt to pursue his interest in golf so maybe when it's a little less rainy, he'll do so.
    I appreciate your kindness, thank you!

  10. WOW! I have "Satin Elite", its like a mauve/mocha color..beautiful, sheer but very stunning, just like this one! I hope things get better, and I hope you find some space soon.


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